A place to let my thoughts, emotions and be loose.
I don’t love casually.
When I love, it’s fierce.
It’s my soul ripped
wide open and raw.
It’s my whole heart
It’s all I have and
everything I know,
handed over to you,
like a gift.
And I hope you
unwrap it gently.
— S.L. (via spuandi)
It feels as though every thing possible is standing in the way of making this relationship possible. But in reality, it’s just myself standing in my own way. I can’t help who I am and where I’ve been, but I’m on a my way to who I want to be. And once I thought I found someone who wanted to be a part of that trip, it seems like I screwed it up again.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
- Met at a mixer. He was cornered by an underclassman girl and I jealous. Drunk Erin finally got what she wanted (including his number)
- He came over after the mixer - took a cab all the way from Penn but obviously had to stop for mcdonald’s on his way
- spent the next morning in bed hooking up and talking
- Were “boyfriend/girlfriend for a day” and ran errands. Ended up spending the day in bed, playing connect 4, and hanging out
- Got a phone call the next morning asking for a ride to Asbury Park, NJ for a film festival. Spent the day driving and invited me the film showing instead of the other girl (thank goodness
- Drove back to Asbury. Spent the day doing homework at a cafe and getting lunch at a diner. Checked into the most terrifying bed and breakfast but had the most careful, passionate, meaningful conversation and follow up sex. Went to the screening, held hands and went to the awards show. Bar for dinner and passed out in bed after.
- Drove back to Philly and discussed our sexual fantasies and fixations
- He came over drunk as a skunk after playing edward 40 hands. Spent the whole day passed out in my bed while I took care of him
- First date - froyo
- Spent so many nights in the Domus study rooms doing homwork, watching zoey 101 and fucking around (not literally)
- Formal! Pregame at the house (that he left me at!!). Danced, met friends, took pictures, ran around, stole a fire extinguisher, ran through the fountain at the art museum, ran up the rocky stairs
- Went to a dive bar for dinner. Got strong drinks with sexual names and played card games
- Spent his birthday working on a paper in my room. Started sharing about my life and had “the talk” - stayed up till FIVE AM (still bitter)
- Drove him to the airport to say goodbye
- Saw him back in Philly and ruined everything by being upset but had great car sex and said goodbye
- Got dinner with his best friend and really hit it off. Love watching and hearing from interact
- Nerf gun fight, 40’s and Good Dog Bar
- Shower sex
- Stir Friday
- Liquor store shopping for champagne and writing thank you cards
- Being happy